The Thing About the Muffins

So, I have two confessions about the faux-healthy blueberry muffins. First, I decided that I liked the recipe in Joy of Cooking so much that I barely changed anything about it. And second, by the time I got around to making the muffins, I had already eaten all of the blueberries in my apartment. As a result, I made my blueberry muffins with frozen blueberries.

I know that frozen fruit is supposed to be an adequate substitute for fresh fruit. Supposedly, the fruit is frozen at the peak of freshness. But, after eating multiple pints of the fresh stuff, I have to admit that the frozen berries were kind of a letdown. Not as sweet. In fact, kind of chemical-y. Like a bad blueberry ice-pop (remember to make those next year . . . yes, a blueberry yogurt ice-pop).

The upside of making the muffins with frozen blueberries was that I avoided the dreaded bright-blue Frankenberry Muffin. I made those last year for a baby shower brunch. Thankfully, my friend was expecting a boy, so I pretended that the blue hue was simply thematic. This time around, however, there was pleasant blue studding and maybe a blue ribbon or two, but who wants to sacrifice taste for looks? Not me.

Whole-Wheat Blueberry Muffins

Follow the Joy of Cooking recipe for Blueberry Muffins using the Northern Corn Bread recipe (you know you own that kitchen bible, but if you don't, you should unless you're like a professional chef or something). The only changes I made were these:

1. In place of 3/4 cup all-purpose flour, I used 1/4 cup whole-wheat flour and 1/2 cup all-purpose flour.
2. Instead of using both milk and buttermilk, I used all whole milk.
3. I did not use any sugar to make the batter. Instead, I rolled the frozen berries in about 2 tablespoons of sugar before I added them to the mix.

Why didn't I attempt something wild and crazy? Why bother? These are good muffins people. There is a reason why the Joy of Cooking has been around for over 75-years.

Blueberries Part II

Savory Blueberry Chocolate Sauce

Chocolate is a tricky thing. It's all over: in cookies, cakes, candy bars, in milk, syrups, and coffee. But, most of the chocolate out there is bad. I know people will be upset with me for saying so, but it's just true. It wasn't true when I was about eight years old. Back then, I regularly sold my home-cooked, lovingly prepared school lunch to other third grade fools, so I could buy the generic, brown-colored sugar-chalk that passed as chocolate bars at the corner store. Of course, I thought they were divine. Even better if they featured a little rice crisp. But a funny thing happened on the way to adulthood, and now these same treats seem sickeningly sweet and weirdly textured (with the exception of M&Ms which are simply little nuggets of goodness).

This is all to say I was pretty sure that when I mixed blueberries with chocolate, I wanted more of a savory experience than a hyper-sweet gooey mess. I instantly thought of mole. A google search of blueberry mole led to a trip to Hell's Kitchen, a restaurant serving "progressive Mexican cuisine," which apparently includes a pork shank coated in a delightful, smooth, dark-colored, and deep blueberry mole. Fantastic. Slightly sweet, but with an undertone of something spicy and complex. Just fantastic.

I could attempt to make it, right? Please. I have a full-time job and a toddler. But, I could make something like it? Not even close. Something vaguely inspired by it? That's what's below.

1 tbsp vegetable oil

1/2 sweet onion, chopped

1 tbsp minced garlic

1 jalapeno, minced

1/4 tsp cinnamon

1/4 tsp allspice

1/4 tsp dried oregano

1/4 tsp ancho chile powder

1/4 tsp cumin

salt

1 14-oz can diced tomatoes (c'mon you know it's easier)

1 pint fresh blueberries

1/4 cup golden raisins

1/3 cup sliced almonds

1-2 oz unsweetened chocolate, melted

Heat the vegetable oil in a small skillet. Saute the onion until soft. Add garlic, jalapeno, and spices. Cook for about a minute. Salt to taste.

Using a blender, combine the onion mixture, tomatoes, blueberries, raisins, and almonds. Puree and then mix in the chocolate.

Done. Okay, not smooth or creamy. Kind of jerk-like. But, still good. I served it with chicken thighs. I browned them on the stovetop, removed them from the pan, added a little chicken broth, melted some of the sauce in that, added the chicken back to the pan and then smeared the sauce on top of the chicken and baked it in a 375 degree oven for about 25 minutes. My husband ate it without complaints, as did the toddler who has a fondness for spicy food.

Blueberries

I love blueberries. They're small. Perfect for snacking. They're sweet-tart. Who doesn't love a little zing in their sugar? They're dusty-colored. That's deliciously weird. They're grown in Jersey. I grew up there! They stain my countertop. Okay, I don't love that part, but as you can see, blueberries are near-perfect. What then could I do to make blueberries even more wonderful? Put it in ice-cream, mix it with vodka, bake it into a faux-healthy muffin, and eat it with chocolate.

Blueberry Ice Cream

1 pint blueberries

1/2 cup sugar, divided

1 cup heavy cream

1 cup whole milk

dash of kosher salt

4 egg yolks

1/4 tsp vanilla

In a saucepan, combine cream, milk, and salt over medium heat. Bring to a simmer. Meanwhile, in a large bowl, combine egg yolks and 1/4 cup sugar with a whisk. Once the cream mixture has reached a simmer, add one ladle of it to the yolk mixture. Whisk well. Pour the yolk mixture into the cream mixture and cook over low heat, stirring constantly until the custard can coat the back of a spoon. Remove from the heat and cool for about five minutes. Stir in the vanilla.

Strain the custard through a fine mesh strainer into a clean bowl. Cover and refrigerate for at least three hours.

While the custard chills, mash blueberries and 1/4 cup sugar in a small bowl. Cover and set aside in the refrigerator. Once the custard has chilled, add blueberry mixture. Then, pour the custard into your ice cream maker and freeze according to the manufacturer's instructions.

This recipe made about 1.5 quarts of ice cream. It was fairly good right out of the ice cream maker, but the next day I had ice cream with chunks of blue ice. Should I have simply let the ice cream sit out longer before serving it or is this some other kind of problem? Ideas? Also, I think that the ice cream could have benefited from a little alcohol. Maybe creme de cassis?

Spiked Blueberry Lemonade

1/2 cup blueberries

1/2 cup sugar

1 cup water

1/4 cup fresh lemon juice

vodka

(agave nectar)

Combine blueberries, sugar, and water over medium-low heat until sugar dissolves, blueberries burst, and a syrup forms. Remove from heat and allow to cool.

(You will have a lot of syrup. Think pancakes. Think of drizzling it on cut fruit. Think of eating it by the spoonful. But don't make your syrup too thick because that's gross.)

For one drink, combine the lemon juice, syrup and vodka in a shaker with ice.

How much syrup? How much vodka? Whatever you want. Because I have only one measuring cup, I used an old shot glass from college to do all post-lemon juice measuring. I liked 2 shots of syrup and one shot of vodka. My husband thought it was a little tart, so we added some agave nectar until my non-blueberry loving spouse was satisfied.

Later this week . . . Whole Wheat Blueberry Muffins and Savory Blueberry Chocolate Sauce!